My Thoughts on Perfect People
If you haven’t seen my YouTube video, 5 Simple Tips to Mental Health, I’d recommend watching that then coming back here. My first step to mental health is STOP paying attention to lists (yes I know I made a list in the video). Lists of characteristics and traits of the best people in the world is a complete lie. I wanted to take some time today going a little deeper and give some advice when it comes to those lists that we see all over social media.
The more popular lists have things like stop people pleasing, always be confident, stop living in the past, stop overthinking, leaders are always forward thinking, and on and on and on….
Here’s what I’d recommend:
First- Leaders, people who present themselves as confident, Presidents, Happy People, etc - are not ALWAYS that way. We are struggle. We all decide what face we put forward and social media always paints a pretty picture.
Second- Reframe the lists. Example: I’m a people pleaser and an over thinker. Every list says thats no what leaders are. Screw that. What I do is give myself boundaries. I like that I’m a people pleaser but I’ve put boundaries in place to safeguard my wellness and to ensure I’m not being taken advantage of. I’ve done something similar with overthinking. I put restrictions myself. I’m allowed to overthink but I’m not allowed to do nothing as a result of it. Instead, I start moving forward while I’m analyzing everything. Will I make a mistake? Of course I will! But I won’t be frozen in fear of my combo people pleaser/over thinker brain.
This wasn’t easy for me to do. It’s taken therapy, being honest with myself, and making sure I have a group of good people around me. Once again I scream from the mountain top- get a therapist! And be prepared for that search to be a bit like speed dating while you find someone you mesh with.
Below are a few other examples of reframing the perfect human lists.
Leaders are always confident reframed as Leaders recognize their own weaknesses and surround themselves with people to fill the gaps and to challenge them. All the great ones I’ve ever met ask for opinions and advice. It’s always continuous improvement- not perfection.
Mentally strong people are always happy reframed as mentally HEALTHY people experience all emotions and allow themselves to feel how they need to based on the situation in their life. The goal isn’t happy, it’s healthy.
Leaders don’t live in the past reframed as Leaders appreciate the lessons of the past and reflect on those situations so they learn from mistakes. This includes feeling a wide range of emotions because not everything works the way we want it to or the way we thought it would. You are a collection of your life experiences, use them to your advantage.
Strong people are decisive reframed as the best leaders and people take the time to think through their decisions, often seeking advice and other opinions.
So ignore the lists! I usually save them for reframing and education purposes but either way, remember we’re all human. We all make mistakes, none of us are perfect. We’re all just trying to live life the best way we know how.
Development and Growth > the fallacy of perfection!
